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Embracing Fear: A TotallyNatYourAverageGirl Post
I always find myself asking, “What do I want to write about?” and then I don’t end up writing. So, today, I’m going to write about something that’s been on my mind a lot.
Fear.
Fear goes hand-in-hand with a lot of my own chronic illnesses as well as PTSD (which I’ve been diagnosed with). Fear is also just something really common that a lot of people struggle with, though we may know it by a different name: anxiety.
Now, anxiety and fear are two different things. Anxiety stems from fear. Fear is kind of just its own thing, right?
So, let’s talk fear.
Fear: noun
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Fear is something we all struggle with. When we get feelings for someone and don’t want to ruin the friendship so we say nothing, or if we go skydiving and are scared of heights, or not speaking up because we don’t want to be judged… and the list goes on and on and on. There are so many different types of fear that we all struggle with in some way, shape, or form.
How do we handle it?
Well, if you’re me, you don’t.
Just kidding!
Sort of.
I mostly tend to ignore my fear, or I over-engage with it. I have a friend who over-engages with her fear, and causes anxiety. For me, I take my fear and do stupid impulsive things (like dyeing my hair bright red or piercing my nose), or I overanalyze and overthink.
Well, what do we do about fear?
To be honest, there isn’t much to be done about fear. You have to learn to adjust to it.
For example, we had a bit of a cancer scare this week (which tends to happen this time of year). I did not handle it well. I spent the day with my sisters and then proceeded to bleach and dye my hair bright red. Which, I actually really love. But not the point.
I don’t handle my fear well. I kind of just… do things?
I’m over getting anxiety attacks and panic attacks because of things I’m afraid of. So, I’ve decided, that if I get afraid, I’m young and dumb and I’m going to be young and dumb. Tattoos, hair dye, piercings, etc.
I’m actually planning to study abroad in the spring of 2025, if it fits with my degree plan. I’m really excited, and absolutely terrified. But, I think I’d love it.
There are so many good things we could be afraid of. I’m moving out this year (Well, at least that’s the plan) and I’m scared, but it’s going to be so good for me.
Fear is such a trivial thing sometimes.
It’s the biggest liar you will ever meet and it will always tell you that you can’t do it.
But, you can.
I’m here to tell you that you can.
You just have to prove it to yourself.
If you have to, do it out of spite, just to prove to fear that it was wrong.
Don’t let it control you. Live your life, and do your best.
That’s all you can do.
While I may not always handle my fear well, I do my best. I’m terrified that I’ll ruin my friendships, I’m always scared my friends find me annoying or too much, I get nervous all the time.
But if I let that control me, would I ever do anything?
If fear controlled me, I would never leave my room.
Fear isn’t always a bad thing, sure. There are plenty of times where it’s saved my skin from doing something stupid, or something I didn’t have a good feeling about. But, fear also isn’t everything. It’s just… there. You can ignore it, listen to it, or interact with it.
In my opinion, interacting with it is actually the healthiest thing to do.
Acknowledge it, but don’t let it hold the reins.
Embrace it.
And then, let it go.
Date: 3/16/24
Current Watch: Bluey
Current Read: The Rose Tattoo by Tennessee Williams
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