Updated: Feb 19, 2020
Cats or dogs?
Chocolate or vanilla?
Coke or Dr. Pepper?
College or trade school?
Book or movie?
Call or text?
Coffee or tea?
Mountain or beach?
Invest or spend?
For my last question in this little game, I wanted to do something kind of shocking, to kind of jar you, my dear reader, out of the fun mindset. Not that this can't be fun. But, honestly, I couldn't find any good questions, so I decided not to use one.
(My answers: dog, chocolate, college, book, text, coffee, beach, spend.)
Okay, so the whole point of that game was that you would do it pretty quickly. I'm trying to put emphasis on that, actually.
In case you hadn't realized it, this blog is about choices.
I feel like that's pretty broad, almost an umbrella-term for what I want to right, but I'm just gonna roll with it.
So, as you all know, life has been extremely chaotic lately. Quick update: My mom has a double mastectomy on the 28th of this month. It's a long procedure and has a longer recovery. I don't think I've mentioned this, but both my mom and I have this gene, called the ATM gene mutation. Our genetic counselor didn't seem to think it was a big deal, but when Mom went in to see her breast doctor/surgeon, she portrayed a much different opinion. It's a very, very, very rare gene. It's considered worse than the BRCA gene, simply because they don't know much about it. My mother's surgeon did tell her that it was basically, either go almost every month for the rest of her life with scans, exams, and visits, or to get a double mastectomy. And, getting scans that often when you have a 1:2 chance of getting cancer? All of that radiation really isn't going to help you keep from getting cancer.
The point I'm making with this is that I could do one of two things. 1) I could be upset, do nothing, and complain, and dwell in my negative emotions. Or, 2) I can step it up and do what my mom did for me when I got home from the hospital on Christmas.
The choices we make matter to the people around us.
Choices are bigger than you think. And smaller than you think too.
We also either think too much about them, or don't think enough.
You wouldn't believe some of the things people said to my mom when she told them. A lot of people are treating this like it's an elective procedure, and that she needs to get "another opinion."
She's literally had four doctors, and several relatives who work in the medical field, tell her to get this surgery.
Part of our choices are what we say. If you want to be involved in someone else's choice, then you need to stay for the end result too. So, here, for example: If you want to have input on my mother's decision to get surgery, you need to be part of the team to take care of her after she has it.
That's only a part of today's blog.
There are so many choices around us everyday. What we eat, when we shower, what we wear, etc., etc., etc...
But some of those choices are harder to make. Such as: what career path should I take? What should I read next? What should I do about this problem?
These are the decisions in our life that we really need to think about.
And not just think about, talk about. If you don't keep it all to yourself, it's easier to process, and you get some feedback on your thoughts.
Here's another thing: don't pretend to think about a decision when you've already made up your mind.
I'll admit, I've done this before too.
Like, right now, I have a decision that I'm pretending I haven't made because it's easier that way. Someone I care a lot about has recently come back into my life, and it's been difficult for me because I don't know why. There was a reason that relationship ended, and I'm not handling them being back very well. I know if they were up front with why they had contacted me again, I- Well, see. I don't know what I would do. As I was typing that out, I realized that I really don't know. I would like to think I would make that decision, but I really don't know what I would say.
And guess what? That's part of our choices.
So, for now, instead of letting it eat at me that they haven't told me why they're talking to me again, I just take a deep breath and try to relax. I'm going to enjoy it. Not knowing, and not being certain in our choices is a part of life.
And, there's something I've realized that I don't think I would've realized if I hadn't
. I mean, for one, I've had a lot of time to focus on my personal life and my mental health, but that's not what I'm referring to.
If there's something you are destined for, you will get there. It doesn't matter what path you take.
I've been saying that for a long time. That's actually part of my own personal faith. I believe God gives us infinite amount of paths we can take, based on our own choices, but we will always hit certain land-markers no matter how we get there. I also think depending on which way we choose for our paths to go, we can miss certain land-markers that are specific to a certain path.
Say in one of your paths, you go to medical school, but in the other you become a professor. Well, either way, you have a doctorate, but the path to each is so very different.
This isn't to say that our choices don't matter. In fact, the opposite.
You get to choose the way you affect other people's lives.
And, I think that's pretty neat.
Life is like a board game. You may not always get to pick your circumstances, but you get to pick how you handle them.
When your friend goes through a breakup, are you going to say "I told you so," or are you going to sit and hold her while she cries?
When someone wants to scream and yell and argue, are you going to argue back, or hold your tongue for the sake of peace?
When someone needs to establish boundaries, are you going to get upset with them for it, or respect them for taking care of themselves?
When someone says they have cancer, are you going to say "I once read this study that (insert random fruit/veggie here) will cure it," or say and mean, "I'm so sorry. What can I do to help?"
I'm not saying taking the high road is easy. In fact, it's the road less traveled by because it's difficult. I mean, imagine, if most of you did was climb mountains. That's a long an exhausting climb. But, when you're finally at the top, it's worth the view. And the shower when you reach the bottom again.
There's nothing more satisfying than working hard, getting dirty, and then coming home to take a nice, hot, refreshing shower. Don't you think?
So, maybe the high road is the one less traveled by. But, it's at least worth giving a shot. It's not easy, and sometimes you walk by or around a mountain instead of climbing it. That's okay too.
There's no one right way. You live, and you learn. If you lived a perfect life, then what would be the point? After all, that shower is only worth it if you climbed the mountain.
Written: February 18th, 2020 at 11:45am
Current Read: Pray Big Things by Julia Jeffress Sadler
Current Binge: I'm actually in-between series right now.
Current Listen: Be Okay by Oh Honey