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Happy February, everyone!
I've had a lot going on this week, and honestly, it's only Tuesday. But, we all have weeks like that.
So, I'm going to share something uplifting.
Since my near death experience in December, I've lost sight of who I am. Things have been a mess, and I've been having a difficult time navigating the muddy waters around me. Which, my therapist says is pretty normal. Just because it's normal, doesn't mean I have to like it. I've been so confused and I've had so much going on in my brain. I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do about work and school and my health. It's honestly just one thing after another.
And, during this time, I've let Satan play with me and get into my head a little bit. I've let him whisper things that make me feel as though my deepest fears come to life.
I let myself think that my sister hated me, I let myself think that I'm unwanted, that I'm a burdened, that I am nothing but a disaster. I kept thinking there was something fundamentally wrong with who I am as a person. I let myself thinking that I'm not beautiful, that I'm not special, that my pain is never going to end.
But none of that is true.
So, here's what I did to combat that.
Maybe about two weeks ago, my mom wanted to watch a movie and she wanted me to watch it with her. So, I did. The movie is Overcomer with Priscilla Shirer.
There was a scene in the movie where her character challenges a teen girl to do something. She challenges her to read through the first chapter of Ephesians and write down everything God says she is. So, I did the same thing. Well, actually I kind of did one better. But, I'm going to share that list with you.
Who I am to God
I am guest to be thought ahead for
Beloved
A True Companion
A Child of God
Freed By Christ
Chosen
Precious
Predestined
Trusted and Sealed
Forgiven
Redeemed
Alive
Strong in the Lord
New
His Workmanship
Healed
A Temple
Saved
At Peace In Christ
Supplied/Cared For/Needless
Hidden In Christ
And do you know what all of these things translate to?
"I am LOVED."
As you read this next section, I encourage you to listen to this song.
I haven't listened to this song in years, and I found it again on accident. When it came on my Spotify, I stopped what I was doing in my room and sat on my floor. And I prayed.
"If I'm your beloved, can You help me believe it?"
This is a line from the song that hits me particularly hard.
Friends, it's more than okay to ask God to remind you who You are to Him. What you mean to Him.
Because, guess what?
God loves to tell us.
He loves to brag about us. We're like the hot new girlfriend that He can't stop talking about. He loves us so much, and He wants everyone to know it. And He wants us to feel the same way.
I sit down and talk to God a lot, and just ask Him, "God, I need you to remind me again."
Here's a prayer that I say that I'm going to share with you. It's about the same every time, with minor variances.
"God, I am hurting so much right now. My soul longs for You, but my heart has been hit one too many times. I've let my insecurities get the best of me, and I've lost sight of where You are. God, I need You to touch my heart and lay your hands on me today. I need You to remind me in big bright letters just who I am to You today. I need to feel Your presence today. I need You to remind me that I belong to You, and not to the pain and sin of this world. I need You today."
That's a personal prayer of mine.
And just know, that God knows who you are. Even if You don't. Even if you are so lost that you can't see a foot in front of you--
That's okay.
Because, guess what? God can. And if you just follow His voice, it's all going to be okay.
Do you have prayer requests? Comments? Questions? Thoughts? Jokes? Ideas?
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Current Read: Pray Big Things by Julia Jeffress Sadler
Song of the Day: Remind Me Who I Am by Jason Gray
Current Binge: Suite Life on Disney Plus+