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I don't want you to pray for me.
No, seriously. I don't want you to pray for me.
Well, at least not in the way that you might think.
Let me explain what I mean by that.
Over the summer, I listened to this devotional CD I got for $5 at Hobby Lobby (I can hear the horrified gasps already. I know, I know, I betrayed Michael's by shopping there). The CD was a Priscilla Shirer devotional study. Each session was pretty short, no more than 15 minutes a piece. Normally, they sat at about 10 minutes. And, there was one that stood out to me. The story of Gideon.
Now, this is not the story of Gideon that everyone is used to hearing. Gideon isn't often talked about, but when he is, it's often about his cowardice or his doubt. Normally, the story you hear is about the fleece and the dew. Basically, the one where he doubts God and asks God to prove Himself to be true.
Yeah, not that story.
"But Natalie," you might ask, "if not that story, then what story are you talking about?"
Well, friends, I'm talking about a story I refer to as "Gideon's 300."
Gideon was a man of Israel who was entrusted with an army of 32,000 men to face up against the Midianites, who had an army of 135,000. So, those aren't great odds. That's about 135 to 32. Not super great. But, it could be worse, right?
Oops. I spoke too soon.
Well, in Judges 7:2 here's what happens: "And the Lord said to Gideon, "The people who are with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hands, lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, 'My own hand has saved me.' "
Even with odds that bad 32,000 is still too much?
Yes, and here's why. God wanted all of the glory to point back to Him, He wanted to not only prove to His people, but to the world that He could, in fact, perform a miracle. He wanted for there to be absolutely no way that anyone could think that this was done by anyone other than Him.
So, God had Gideon speak to his men and tell them that whoever was afraid needed to go home.
22,000 men left. 10,000 men remained with Gideon.
Now, the odds were 27 to 2. Whew. Yeah, those were really, really bad odds. Nearly impossible, wouldn't you agree? Personally, I'd say, "Uh, hey, God? Don't you think that's low enough?"
Yeah, um. Apparently not.
Judges 7:4a says: "But the Lord said to Gideon, "The people are still too many; bring them down to the water and I will test them for you there."
You might be thinking, "Um. What? But, that's crazy. That's 135,000 men vs 10,000 men. Those are already impossible odds."
Not impossible enough.
So, then God takes Gideon and his men down to the river and tests the men based on the way they drink from the river. 300 hundred of the men drink differently from the rest and God says, "Take those 300 with you and send the rest home."
I'm sorry, what?!
300 men versus 135,000 men.
Those odds are 450 to 1.
And they won with clay pots and pitchforks.
Read that again. And again. And again. Read it as many times as it takes to realize just how impossible that is.
This is what I'm getting at.
Over the summer, God placed this story on my heart for a brief time. And, well. I did the thing people tell you not to do. I prayed for trouble. I remember the exact words of my prayer.
I was in my car, and I was driving to work. I remember saying, "Okay, God. I want you to put me at my 300 men. I want you to come swooping in so strong that there is no doubt in my mind that this was You."
Yeah, I'm not at my 300.
I'd say I'm at my 10,000. I'm not there yet, and many of you might actually disagree, but God has His hand on my heart and He is telling me, "Not yet."
And He's not saying it quietly either.
"But, Natalie, you haven't said why you don't want us to pray for you." You quickly say. To which I respond, "I'm getting to it."
God is love. God answers prayers if you have faith, and if you keep praying for it and the more people who pray, the more likely it is that God will answer it (Matt. 7:7; Matt. 21:22; John 14:13-14; Mark 11:22-24). James 5:16-18 even says that! Look:
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit."
I don't want you to pray for me to be healed. Here is a list of what I want you to pray for:
God's Will Be Done.
To God Goes the Glory.
God's Will Be Done.
To God Goes the Glory.
God's Will Be Done.
To God Goes the Glory.
God's Will Be Done.
To God Goes the Glory.
I think you get my point. None of your prayers for me should be centered around me. That's basically what I'm asking. I want God to use me in a big way with all of this, and in such a way that everything is turned around directly to point at Him. No credit for mankind. I promise you with my heart and soul and everything I have, that this is the only thing I want.
Would it be nice for my surgery to come back that the cancer isn't in my lymph nodes? Would it be nice to find out what caused my tumor? Would it be nice if I wasn't at 52% higher chance of getting breast cancer than the average woman? Would it be nice if it wasn't from my father's side of the family, where my great aunt died of breast cancer at 36, after being diagnosed at 30? Would it be nice if I could be done with all of these incredibly invasive and humiliating procedures?
Yes, of course it would. I'm only human.
But, God can't do anything with an easy life. He can't. If you don't need Him, He can't do anything with you. The more I need Him, the more I rely on Him, the more He does with me. Don't you see? That's all I want, and that's what He wants too. I want to be at my 300. And so should you.
If you want to reach out and contact me with questions, prayer requests, comments, thoughts, jokes, or ideas, please do! I appreciate feedback, and I love it when you all share my blog with others. It's actually at the point that I might make business cards. ;)
As always, my email is: totallynatyouraveragegirl@gmail.com and here's the link to my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/totallynatyouraveragegirl
Wish me luck as I head into surgery this week, y'all!
Written: December 14th, 2019 at 6:22pm
Current Read: Judges 6 & 7
Song of the Day: Blessings by Laura Story
One Thing God Has Given Me: Fuzzy socks! And Priscilla Shirer videos on Youtube. I really want to go to her conference when she comes back into town.